Please be careful when entering the terminal; as manners and brains do fall out!

I always hear fellow colleagues moan about how passengers loose their minds as they walk in the airport terminal, but hadn't really experienced the brunt of it until today. We flew Melbourne to Los Angeles departing at 1pm instead of 11:45am. There were huge delays due to the recent terror attack in America on Christmas Day. I'd also heard that MEL-LAX was as bad as a Brisbane to LA flight but on steroids; meaning passengers are trigger happy with the call bell and eat like they are waiting for us to fall out of the sky and be stranded in a slide raft for weeks- times ten. I didn't believe it though, being a ex-melbournite, I thought we had more class. But, they were right!

Just after the lunch service, we experienced some turbulence. The Captain put the fasten seat belt sign on. At this point we had queue's at the toilets. My job was then to tell everyone that they would have to sit back down, fasten their seat belt and hold it a little while longer. This is always such a horrible thing to say to people but seeing that 99% of people waiting for the loo's are adults you would think that this would be not an impossible task however horrible.

During boarding I was approached by a gentleman in my area;

Passenger: "Excuse me? Do the headsets work?"
Me: "Yes, they do." (slightly puzzled)
Passenger: "Then can we turn this off now!!!" (pointing to the speaker above him playing our boarding music)
Me: "Unfortunately Sir, Our boarding music doesn't get switched off until after take-off." (Smile)

OK, so not all of us are excited about travel, being on a plane, the atmosphere of liberty and its endless possibilities, some people travel for work, some travel for funerals, not all people are going on holidays. This is something this gentleman subtly reminded me. Note to self, this passenger is not in a good mood today.

So my next encounter with this pleasant passenger is having to tell him that he has to be seated no matter how 'busting' he is. He steps right into my personal space, nice and close to my face and says " Take me to 1st class for the toilet then, otherwise I will piss in my seat!". Having already spoken to him earlier and noted he was not in a good mood, I chose not to rile him up and warned him that he had been advised of the danger of entering the toilet when the captain has put the fasten seat belt sign on and that anything he should do now is at his own risk. My Cabin Leader overheard and put his head around the corner and told him kindly that unfortunately he would have to sit in his seat.

A lady overheard and decided to play the same desperado routine and insist she must go as she "could feel her period coming on". Please people, grow up! I understand you need to go to the toilet and that you were in a queue waiting patiently for your turn, but unfortunately I care more about your safety than that of your bladder and do not particularly like being threatened with leakages of menstruation blood and urine!!!

What happens to people when they walk in an airport?! It really is another world! I have just finished reading "Up in The Air" by Water Kirn. Its a story about a man reaching his one-millionth frequent flyer mile and his experiences in 'airworld' as he calls it. Its left me wondering, considering I travel for a profession, am I a key player in airworld or just a spectator???